What you can’t beat, you need to befriend.

That’s the smartest approach to making resistance work for you and not against you.

And this is especially true for our fears.

We can never truly beat our fears. And even if we manage to overcome one of our fears, there’re already five new ones ready to pop up.

The fear of being judged, the fear of rejection, the fear of failing, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of making the wrong choice, the fear of making no choice, the fear of being too old for something, the fear of being too young for something….and so the list goes on.

It seems like fear is an infinite and self renewing resource.

Don’t you worry – life is smart

Life is smart. And life always tries to create balance. 

So in the same way it equipped us with this infinite abundance of fears, it also equipped us with an infinite abundance of courage, and love, and striving, and determination.

Everything in perfect harmony as long as we pay attention to nurture the latter resources on a regular basis.

This will serve us greatly when we befriend our fears. Because what we want are friendships that are well balanced and based on equality. 

Start to befriend what you can’t beat

So since our fears will always stick around, the best strategy is to befriend them.

Interesting thought, right? But how should this work?

Well, just think about how your best real life friendships started out?

Most likely with a really good conversation.

Most likely by approaching each other with curiosity, respect, an open ear and an open heart.

Most likely by listening more than just talking.

Most likely by finding interest and valuable insights in each others differences.

Most likely by being non-judgemental.

So the same applies to our fears. We start to befriend them when we start a conversation, when we listen to what our fears have to tell us, when we approach our fears non-judgementally, and when we remain curious, no matter what. 

So that’s what we’re going to do now. Starting our brand new fear conversations. And starting our brand new friendships.

Just in time for starting 2019 with a bunch of great new friends.

In the upcoming “Life Designers Mondays” I’ll go through the most common fears and show you how to befriend them and make those fears your ally.

So stay tuned. You’re on the right path to designing a life you truly love.