Your job is stressing you out, your relationship is going through a rough patch or you’re still single and start to lose faith in love, or you’re definitely not where you thought you’d be with all those New Years Resolutions and expectations and feel frustrated or behind.
No, in those kinds of situations, the present moment is the last place where you want to be, right?
And this is good news, because that’s also not the place where your attention and your thoughts should linger.
Ever heard of the saying “Energy flows where your attention goes”? So when you give all your attention to the current job you hate, all your attention to the things that don’t work out in your relationship or how sucky it is, to still be single, if all your attention goes to your flabby belly that you thought you’d transformed into a six-pack by now, guess what happens? Yes, those shortcomings or flaws weigh you down even more and they seem even more impossible to overcome.
And you become less and less motivated to change anything.
So here’s a little trick and exercise, to work around this dilema. Instead of constantly confirming your unwanted present, start to catch up with your desired future! And here’s how it works:
Most of us don’t have a crystal ball, or clairvoyant abilities to determine how exactly our life will look like in six months from now.
But what we have is something even better. We have the absolute freedom and autonomy to imagine how this future CAN look like. And that’s even better than having a crystal ball, because we can CHOOSE what we want to see.
So even if this sounds now a bit woo-woo to you, can you at least agree with me that a negative image or forecast of your future is as likely to turn into reality as a positive image, in this very moment exactly 50:50.
Accept, it as a done-deal that in six months from now you have a new job, or things improved significantly at work, that in six months from now your relationship is on a high again and you’re on your way to a second honeymoon, that in six months from now you have a great partner by your side, and in six months from now you’re proud of the physical shape you’re in.
Can you just accept this as a fact? Accept those 50% that’ll take you down the road of positive surprises!
So once you commit to this Done-Deal-Experiment, and accept it as a given that in six months from now your future has taken a positive turn, it’s time to start matching your emotions towards your new future.
In other words, knowing that in six months from now you’re at your new job, how does this make you feel the next time you have an argument at work or are stressed out? Maybe you feel more disconnected, take things less personal, because you know it’s a finite situation. Maybe you can see certain things with a greater sense of humor, or curiosity, and feel lighter and more positive.
Or in regards to your relationship, knowing that it’s a done deal and in six months from now you’re closer than ever and on a second honeymoon, maybe you feel more motivated or more connected, maybe you feel some joy and lightness creeping back in, because you know that things will improve soon.
Knowing that you’ll be back in shape in six months from now might make you feel more reconciled with your current body. And maybe you’d feel more motivated to pamper yourself and treat yourself with a nice massage or a nice walk in nature, simply because it makes you feel good. And this is what the third step is all about.
After starting to align your emotions with your future situation, now it’s time to take action!
Without taking action, that’s where we’d end up in the realm of woo-woo wishful thinking or manic manifestation. But we’re not. As passionate Life Designers, we consciously and pro-actively design and create our lives. And we know about our own responsibility in all of this.
So now that your positive job future is a done deal, now that you feel more distant to the everyday arguments at work, now that you know it’s all a matter of time, it’s time to take action. If you feel there’s still some unexplored potential at your current job, what do you have to do to improve your situation or perspectives? If you feel a job or career change is inevitable, what are the next steps to take?
So now that a happier relationship is a done deal, now that the weight is lifted off your shoulders and you feel lighter, more positive and more hopeful, what are the next concrete steps to take? Maybe engaging more often in activities that make YOU feel really good, because even in a relationship, the responsibility for feeling good is still within ourselves. Maybe you’re more motivated or enthusiastic to suggest a movie or dinner night and do something TOGETHER, because after all, it’s a relationship that evolves and lasts? Maybe you’re interested in exploring and learning more about relationships, about good communication, about physical pleasure? Because after all, in six months from now you’ll have a good relationship again, so why not look for ways to invest in it and to make it even better, even more enjoyable?
So now that a great physical shape is a done deal, maybe you want to invest in healthier eating habits, in cooking more, or in a better self-care routine, because a healthy and happy body deserves to be pampered?
The one thing we always seem to get wrong when we want to change something in our life, is to focus mostly on the unwanted present moment. In doing so, it’s almost impossible to create positive emotions around this topic and feeling motivated and inspired to taking action and driving change. But by using this little trick and turning your focus on your wanted future as a done deal instead, you can start to match this future little by little, emotionally and through taking action.
Inspired to take action and wish for more support?
No problem, check out my new 1×1 Coaching opportunities and let’s work together.
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash and Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash
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