I asked myself this many times, how comes that when I start a conversation around aspirations and dreams, some people immediately block or change the topic.
Did it become politically incorrect to talk about ones dreams? To ask about someones dreams? Or what’s the reason for such a defensive behaviour around one of the most beautiful topic that exists in our lives.
Dreaming isn’t a luxury product or a privilege. It’s neither a waste of time nor does dreaming limit gratitude for the present moment. Dreaming is essential. Without dreams we give up our own, unique roadmap for our future.
But for some of us, somewhere along our life journey, having dreams and expressing them became a No-Go. Because maybe someone has laughed at us for our dreams, or maybe we were judged for having them, or maybe we have been disappointed because we tried to make them happen and it didn’t work out.
No matter what it was that stopped us from having dreams in the past, this shouldn’t carry on into our future.
Just let me be clear on one thing before we move on. When I talk about dreams, I don’t necessarily mean dreaming of coming up with world-changing inventions or heroic ventures. By dreams I mean anything that you’d wish into your life and that’s not yet there. Nothing is too small or too big to be called a dream. From taking a sabbatical, opening a Bed& Breakfast, or writing a novel, to learning a new language, attending a cooking class or cutting down on ones work hours to spend more time with our loved ones.
All of those wonderful thoughts deserve to be called dreams. And they deserve to have a place in your life.
But let’s have a look at the top 3 reasons that can still hold you back from dreaming. And what to do about it:
We all know how it feels to dream about something, or someone, and end up being hugely disappointed. The business venture didn’t work out, our plans to travel around the world fell through, the person we believed to spend our life with suddenly had other dreams.
Yes, we all have been disappointed when it comes to our dreams.
And the more disappointments we collected over the years, the more likely we’re to dial down our expectation aka dreams to avoid being disappointed again.
But here’s the thing you need to know about dreams and disappointment: By not allowing yourself to dream, you set yourself up for the biggest disappointment of all. When people have been asked about their biggest life regrets, the number one regret people unanimously share is not about disappointments or failures.
The number one regret is not having tried in the first place. Not having listened to this inner dreamer, no matter what the outcome would have been.
Yes, unfortunately our world is full of judgement.
And today, in the age of social media and internet, everyone feels entitled to judge or comment on everything. Unfortunately there’s no social media code of conduct how to interact respectfully and how to criticise constructively in this virtual world.
But also face-to-face comments have the same potential to stop us from dreaming.
As soon as we start to share a new dream or aspiration, we can already prepare ourselves for opinions and judgements popping up like spring flowers from all sides, telling us it’s not realistic, it’s stupid, or that we don’t have what it takes.
Well, let me tell you this.
Only people without dreams of their own can criticise in a hurtful and demotivating way.
They feel the lack of something in their own lives and criticise to compensate. And the bigger this lack, the louder the criticism.
So in this case that happens to you, you have two options:
You can give into this negative judgment from others and follow them into the no-dream-land. A journey which I wouldn’t recommend.
Or you can silently thank them for reminding you how you’d never want to end up and work even harder on keeping and realizing your dreams.
“I can’t have it all” “dreaming is a luxury” “It’ll never work out” “It’s too late” “It’s too early”!
Do you know what those statements all have in common?
They’re all limiting beliefs. And what’s even worse, they’re homemade limiting beliefs playing on auto-pilot.
Especially when it come’s to our dreams, we must be extremely mindful about our own mindset.
Yes, dreams are scary because they invite us to leave our comfort zone, to make ourselves vulnerable, to try something new, to risk something. And these are usually the typical trigger situations for limiting beliefs to kick in.
Always remember, you’re choosing your thoughts, not the other way around.
And once a limiting belief kicks in, choose again. Choose an inspiring belief that supports your dream. And make your mind a strong ally on this journey.
So there’s really no good enough reason that should hold you back from having dreams.
Dreams are no luxury, dreams are your birthright!
And in case you’ve been reluctant to engage in exploring your dreams in the past, now would be the perfect time to work through your blocks and give it another try.
Are you looking for more support on this journey of reconnecting to your dreams and realising them?
Then come and join me for one of my Life Designing Online trainings. Together, we’ll eliminate what’s holding you back and pave the way for whatever you want to design in your future.